Have you ever considered that? And if you have, why would you bring children into this world knowing full well that there was at least an outside shot that such an outcome would result? I’m not trying to be mean and nasty, I'm just pointing this out to illustrate that regardless of whether you view salvation as solely the work of God based on a decision God made in eternity past or whether salvation is based on an individual’s free will, in either case you can’t really trust that God will save your own children. There are no guarantees. You can work as hard as you want, but if you're honest with yourself, you have to admit that the possibility remains that one day one of your precious children will turn out just like me. It would seem that there’s really only one way to make sure that none of your children will ever be tortured for eternity in blazing fire and outer darkness. Never have any.
Seriously, why would you bring a child into this world knowing there is even a remote possibility she might grow up to reject Christ and burn in the Lake of Fire forever? You can come up with rationalizations and talk all you want about the promises of God and how he commands you to be fruitful and multiply. You can speak of how it would be your child’s fault if she rejected Christ. You can even openly proclaim that God would be just and right in sending your child to hell for all eternity, but you cannot escape the fact that you would have unwittingly brought that precious child into this world simply for her to grow up and be used as a vessel of wrath fitted to destruction (Romans 9:22). Are you resigned to that fact?
While you go to heaven and praise God for all eternity for showing you his love and mercy, your child will be experiencing his torment and wrath forever and ever. How is any parent in their right mind OK with this? Imagine a scenario in which you find yourself in heaven actually rejoicing over the burning torture of that precious child you chose to bring into the world. At least a couple of famous theologians have envisioned things this way.
Thomas Aquinas writes in his Summa Theologica that, “in order that the happiness of the saints may be more delightful to them and that they may render more copious thanks to God for it, they are allowed to see perfectly the sufferings of the damned.” Similarly, Jonathan Edwards believed the saints in heaven will behold the torments of the damned, including and especially burning family members writhing in agony when he wrote, "Can the believing husband in Heaven be happy with his unbelieving wife in Hell? Can the believing father in Heaven be happy with his unbelieving children in Hell? Can the loving wife in Heaven be happy with her unbelieving husband in Hell? I tell you yeah! Such will be their sense of justice that it will increase rather than diminish their bliss (Edwards, Discourses on Various Important Subjects 1738).” Both men cite passages like Isaiah 66:24, Psalm 58:10 and Revelation 14:10 in support of their view.
According to this view, God is going to give you a front row seat to witness the eternal torment of your unbelieving children and other relatives and when you hear them crying out in agony, not only will this not bother you in the least, but you’re actually going to like it thanks to your transformed heart. Think about that. The Christian god is literally going to miraculously transform mothers into sadists that take pleasure in watching the children they carried for nine months and raised for eighteen years being tormented in everlasting fire and they will praise him for it.
Even if you don’t accept the arguments of Edwards and Aquinas, but you still believe in the existence of hell, the best you can hope for is that God will make you forget that you ever had that unbelieving child. Perhaps when he wipes all your tears away he’ll also wipe away from your mind forever all of the now-precious memories you have of that unbelieving child so you can fully enjoy eternity without having to think about their everlasting torment and agony. Praise Jesus for the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
There's a problem with both of those views, however. The problem with the first is that in order for God to turn you into a sadist that enjoys watching the rest of humanity screaming and wailing and crying out in painful torture for all of eternity, he's going to have to remove the empathy you feel toward your fellow human beings and especially those you may have loved who didn't believe in him. Once he does that you will no longer be you. The empathy you feel toward your fellow human beings and the desire you have to not see your loved-ones tormented is part of who you are and part of what makes you human. It will be gone, making that version of you not the same person.
The same is true for the other solution. If God is just going to wipe away all memory of your unbelieving loved-ones so that the bliss of heaven won't be interrupted by the occasional stray thought of these people you cared about weeping and wailing, then he's removing an important part of what makes you who you are. Your memories of those loved-ones and the care and concern you feel for them right now is just as much a part of you as anything else. If God takes that from you, it means that the version of you in heaven will not really be you.
But what if the good news is that nobody's child or wife or mother or brother is going to hell to be tormented for eternity because there is no hell? What if hell is just the product of people's imaginations overreacting to the injustices they perceived in their life experiences? Then we needn't worry about it.
However, if it's not and there really is such a place of eternal torment, then every person who chooses to bring a child into this world is putting that child at risk of one day going there. You can evangelize all you want, but at the end of the day the only truly effective way to keep people out of hell is to stop making more of them. And yet, many Christians have this idea that God has commanded them to be fruitful and multiply in spite of this fact. That's quite the conundrum he's placed you in. One might even call it a double bind.
When you set the table
When you chose the scale
Did you write a riddle that you knew they would fail
Did you make them tremble
So they would tell the tale
Did you push us when we fell
What am I afraid of?
Who did I betray?
In what medieval kingdom does justice work that way?
If you knew what would happen
And you made us just the same
Then you my Lord can take the blame